Trader Joe’s Uncured Bacon Jam

Trader Joe's Bacon Jam

As I mentioned in my last post and as is, I suppose, self-evident, I’ve returned from my indefinite hiatus to write – you know –some more stuff about food or whatever.

Ranking: 3 stars 3 star ranking

What it is: Sweet and tangy bacon spread.
Price: $4.49 for a 8.5 oz jar
Worth it: Yes – if you like new flavors.

It may have been the dried whole baby bananas that stuck with me during my time away, but it was the numerous encouraging voices that checked in with my blog of out genuine concern that spurred me back into action. Well, that and one other thing – Trader Joe’s Bacon Jam.

There are some challenges that simply must be risen to. By releasing Bacon Jam TJ’s was practically daring me to return to blogging. After all, who else could possibly write off-beat, off-the-cuff, man-on-the-ground style articles with just a dash of snark? Who else, other than the numerous other Trader Joe’s review blogs, some of which directly rip-off my website design? Obviously the world needed me.

When I see products like Trader Joe’s Bacon Jam, I can’t help but think that there’s someone, somewhere in the high echelons of TJ’s who is compelled by a Joker-style urge to unmake the order of the world. Only instead of throwing bombs, his tool is novel food products – and he wields that tool like a hammer against the glassine walls of reality.  If you wanted to break down the shared consensus of what is logical and what is madness, you could do worse than mass producing products like Trader Joe’s pumpkin-spiced pumpkin seeds, pickle popcorn, dehydrated kimchi, etc.

Add to that list Trader Joe’s Bacon Jam. If I assigned myself the task of thinking up the most outlandish, bacon-food mashup up, I could work for hours (Bacon Candy? Bacon Beer? Bacon Pie?) and never have come to Bacon Jam. Incidentally, all the other things I came up with are actual, real products as well.

Of course, the same could have been said about cookie butter, and look where cookie butter is now, – ascended to Olympus to bathe us all in its warm, loving gaze. To be clear, Trader Joe’s Bacon Jam is nowhere near the same caliber of delicious as cookie butter, but a sort of strange parallel does present itself. Cookie butter…bacon jam… we may have to face the very real possibility that Trader Joe’s ideal target demographic is late career Elvis. It’s now easier than ever for me to take two slices of bread and with a few easy moves make an unholy cookie butter and bacon jam sandwich. Deep fry that and throw on a white sequined suit and you’re ready to die mysteriously on a toilet!

Actually the most surprising thing about bacon jam is that it isn’t all that bad. In fact, it’s a surprisingly edible and spreadable condiment. From the name you might expect it to be quite sweet, and while it certainly contains some sugar, this isn’t a pork version of Smuckers. Instead, it’s a vinegary and tangy spread with a mellow, apple-y sweetness. It immediately reminded me of that classic American recipe, green beans and bacon (or the similar recipe for spinach and bacon salad). This bacon “jam” has that same baked-in-vinegar taste that that the bacon dressings in those recipes have – it’s just as if all that dressing was gathered up and packed in a jar for your convenience.

The result is as sort of quasi-congealed, spreadable bacon condiment that can add that meaty, zingy sort of taste to… well, whatever you want to put it on, I guess. What that is, exactly, is up to you. Trader Joe’s makes the half-hearted suggestions of using it on burgers, BLTs and pizzas, although none of those struck me as killer app (-itizer…ha.) Like some of Trader Joe’s other novel food creations, it might make an interesting addition to the cabinet, but fails to scratch any real itch.


The Breakdown

Would I Recommend It: Yes to the adventerous, no to the staid.

Would I Buy It Again: I can’t think of a reason to.

Final Synopsis: Tangy, vinegary bacon spread. Not bad, but not really essential.

Trader Joe's Bacon Jam - Nutrition Facts

Advertisements

10 Comments on “Trader Joe’s Uncured Bacon Jam”

  1. Mara says:

    Yup – total loss as to what I would do with this condiment. But when you describe it as “quasi-congealed, spreadable bacon,” now THAT’s hard to refuse. Welcome back, sir.

  2. Sally says:

    Yay! You are back!

  3. Anonymous says:

    I put it on a grilled cheese sandwich. Nom nom

  4. Moira says:

    Welcome back! I missed you.

  5. Hethr says:

    Happy to see you reviewing items again! I’d like to try that jam on the parsnip chips. If you try the parsnip chips don’t let them sit around too long, they really are best the first day or two.

  6. MM says:

    “Cookie butter…bacon jam… we may have to face the very real possibility that Trader Joe’s ideal target demographic is late career Elvis.”

    Incredible! I just found your blog…this one line has convinced me to make your blog bookmark-worthy. Apparently you disappeared for a while so…WELCOME BACK!

  7. Sky says:

    Put some on a grilled cheese sandwich, at least once before you give up on it.

  8. Paul says:

    I asked the local TJ’s staff and the suggested the following version of grilled cheese.

    Whole wheat sour dough bread
    Butter
    Bacon jam
    Prosciutto
    Swiss and gruyere cheese blend

    Spread butter on bread, liberally smear bacon jam on the inside of bread, add one slice of prosciutto and top with cheese. Make 2 sides For each sandwich. Grill and enjoy. It’s amazing!!!

    All products are availability at trader joe’s

  9. Mike Price says:

    Would this be safe to fry in a pan? Sorry for the stupid question, I am nowhere near a cook LOL . I was just thinking this may be awesome to fry up with some scrambled eggs..just not sure about the ingredients and whether or not this is something I want to put in a frying pan…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s