Trader Joe’s Kale Sprouts

Trader Joe's Kale Sprouts

Kale and Brussels sprouts – fused together? If it wasn’t such a good idea, it’d be terrifying.

We recently looked at the shocking explosion in popularity of the humble Brussels sprout. I myself have never considered myself much of a Brussels sprout man, although I’m occasionally tempted into the dish when sufficient quantities of bacon and cheese have been introduced. I’m also not much of a kale man, although I can occasionally be convinced to enjoy it chopped – if there’s enough good salad fixings to go with it. Why then, did I feel compelled to pick up a bag of Trader Joe’s Kale Sprouts – a product that is, somehow, exactly what it sounds like. Some twisted nutritional madman, in a decaying castle on some storm bitten crag, managed to fuse these two unfavorably regarded members of the Brassilica family into one lopsided ungainly form – perfect for haunting the dreams of obstinate children forever more. Surely this tinkering can’t work out well, can it?

Fortunately, I’ve matured far enough beyond my own childhood dislike of strange vegetables to actually give this unusual new plant a try. What I discovered was a veggie that combines the best of both its parents into a new form.

Despite owing it’s ancestry in half to Brussels sprouts, kale sprouts don’t look all that much like those infamous green buds. Instead, kale sprouts look like little heads of kale. In fact, kale sprouts are often referred to by their other name, lollipop kale – downplaying the Brussels sprouts side altogether. Don’t be fooled though – despite their very kale-like appearance if you saw kale sprouts at the farm, you’d see them growing off the sides of long, vertical stalks – exactly like Brussels sprouts.

Trader Joe's Kale Sprouts 2

Sauteed Kale Sprouts

This mixed pedigree is reflected in the taste – the kale sprout taste is almost exactly halfway between kale and Brussels sprouts. Robust, nutritious, crisp, fresh, and slightly bitter with a hint of pepperiness. As a result, you can cook them in any of the ways you would consider cooking either. Kale sprouts can be cut in half and roasted in the oven like Brussels sprouts just as easily as they can be sauteed with a touch of olive oil and salt, like kale – or simply thrown on a salad.

While I expected to be underwhelmed by these guys as a result of that “middle of the road” phenomenon, I was actually quite charmed by the little morsels. I hadn’t known it before, but I guess I’ve always wanted my Brussels sprouts to be leafier and my kale to have more body. Trader Joe’s Kale Sprouts manage to do both those things at the same time. It’s like they scratch an itch I didn’t know I had. In fact, I’d say I found them easier to cook, and friendlier to eat, than either of its progenitors.

Kale sprouts are an excellent addition to your produce pantry, and a versatile tool for many meals, from a hearty side for meat dishes, to an addition to your salad bowl, to a simple saute. Unlike so many produce hybrids that seem to be made exclusively for novelty purposes – like the saturn peach, or pluot - kale sprouts actually fill a meaningful role in the kitchen.  Let’s hope they’re here to stay.


The Breakdown

Would I Recommend It: Yes, they’re handy, novel and nutritious.

Would I Buy Them Again: I would – they made me feel fancy.

Final Synopsis: A kale/Brussels sprout hybrid that combines the best of two worlds.

 

About these ads

Trader Joe’s Pesto and Quinoa

Trader Joe's Pesto and Quinoa

Yup, pesto and quinoa – that classic duo. Like ketchup and custard, salt and Dr. Pepper

Look, I know quinoa is enjoying something of a heyday, the likes of which has been unprecedented since the ancient grain was originally introduced as a staple of the human diet in 5,000 BC, but there are certain applications of it which are bound to make even the hippest vegetarian blink. I’ve calmly accepted quinoa in my salads, my “chicken”, and even in my sushi. But quinoa in my pesto? That’s a development that begs further inquiry.

Quinoa was originally cultivated in the Andes region of South America since the rise of civilization there. However, since it’s uptake by the incessant marketing machine in the mid 2000’s, quinoa has been trumpeted as a superfood for it’s many healthsome properties – some certified, some merely alleged – and introduced into practically any food product in need of a sales boost.

What is absolutely true is that quinoa is a gluten-free grain, and is relatively protein rich. Given that both these qualities dovetail nicely into the culinary trends of the day, its recent, widespread popularity should probably not be a surprise. It is notable however. Since 2006, the price of quinoa has tripled on the market even as crop production has nearly doubled world wide – and in 2013 no lesser body than the United Nations itself declared it the “International Year of Quinoa”. They had a logo and everything.

While the sudden rise of quinoa from obscurity to mainstay may sound unusual, it’s not alone. In fact pesto – yes the very pesto in this quinoa and pesto sauce – shares a very similar original story. Pesto may not have a pedigree that stretches back thousands of years, like quinoa, but it’s a lot older than you might think. The first bowl of pesto was found on the table of the ancient Romans who ate a paste of crushed herbs, garlic and cheese. As they conquested into northern Italy/southern France, the basil that grew there was introduced into the dish – resulting in the pesto we know and love today. And then nothing happened for two thousand years. Despite the fact that pesto took it’s fully mature form sometime before the birth of Christ, it was largely unknown out of the rustic Mediterranean regions where it sprang into existence.

Not until 1863 is the first recipe for pesto recorded, and it is not until nearly a hundred years after that, in 1946, that the first pesto recipe shows up in America. Even then, pesto continued to languish in relative obscurity until the 1980’s, when it started to be adopted into Italian cuisine on a wide scale.

So why combine these two long overlooked food items into one condiment? Why did Trader Joe’s bother to make Pesto and Quinoa?

When you try it, the first thing you’ll notice is that they might as well have called it pesto with quinoa, instead of pesto and quinoa. The point being that this is a pesto sauce, first and foremost, with the quinoa making a very meager impact on the overall dish.

Apart from the quinoa, this is a standad pesto recipe – filled with plenty of basil, oil and grated cheese. What it doesn’t have, however, is any pine nuts. In place of that crunchy nuttiness you get the squishy nuttiness of lots and lots of quinoa. This makes the pesto taste more or less like any other pesto you’ve had from a grocery store, even if it looks very very different. There’s so much quinoa in this pesto that it’s far and away the first ingredient. When you unscrew the lid you’ll see a load of quinoa, sprouts and all, staring back at you. If you can get over the somewhat unsettlingly different appreance, you’ll find that this pesto works just like the regular stuff – you can add it easily to pasta, chicken, fish or salads for that big sloppy kiss of savory basil. Just don’t expect it to spread quite like regular pesto. The quinoa makes it much lumpier than a normal pesto, and requires a little extra finesse on the part of the eater.

While that’s all well and good, it does make you wonder why Trader Joe’s bothered to make this stuff at all. There isn’t any real difference in the calorie or fat content between this and ordinary pesto. While I enjoyed it on a variety of meals, I didn’t enjoy it any more than I would have any other pesto. And with the slightly unappealing look and unweildly nature of the quinoa, there really isn’t any need to get it again. I’m glad TJ’s discovered a tasty Peruvian pesto, I’m just not so sure why they wanted to pas it along to all of us.


The Breakdown

Would I Recommend It: No, I don’t think so.

Would I Buy It Again: Nope, no need.

Final Synopsis: Pesto with a bunch of quinoa in it tastes just like pesto without quinoa in it. So why bother?


Trader Joe’s Speculoos Cookie Butter Cheesecake

cookie butter cheesecake box

Such non-descript packaging! Like an oyster shell hiding a pearl

Stop the presses folks. World shaking news is afoot.

Look, we all know and love Cookie Butter,we love it crunchy, we love it as ice cream, we even love it when it’s made from Oreo cookies. Now Trader Joe’s has taken it all two steps further by putting it on cheesecake. Yes, you read that right – cookie butter cheesecake – just in time for the holidays.

For those of you who are still, bafflelingly, in the dark about cookie butter, it’s that miraculous creamy substance that replaces the peanuts in peanut butter with ground up speculoos cookie. Reminiscent of sugar cookies and ginger bread, this creamy, sweet, smooth and delicious treat is so good that it makes peanut butter look like parsley. It’s simply fantastic.

What TJ’s has dared to do here is spread a thick shmear of cookie butter across the top of an ordinary cheesecake, then set the whole thing in a crust made from crushed up speculoos cookies. Brilliant move on both accounts. Resisting the temptation to mix the cookie butter into the cheesecake filling itself is absolutely the right move – choosing to let the cookie butter speak for itself instead of diluting it with lesser sugars. The cookie crust is just a little extra flourish that adds a tasty touch to an already very tasty cake.

As we’ve noted before, Trader Joe’s has struggled to trump their simple, flagship creation, ordinary cookie butter. The issue is that cookie butter is so good on its own that mixing it with anything – even if that anything is nutella, tastes less delicious. It’s like we’re dealing with cocaine – the more stuff you cut that sweet nose candy with, the less pure it becomes.

It’s a daunting task, but combining cookie butter with cheesecake is brilliant enough that it seems it might work. If there’s anything in this world as rich and decadent as cookie butter, it’s cheesecake. Maybe even more so! Isn’t it possible that the whole thing is going to be a mouth-melting act of dietary terrorism so rich that the smallest slice will overwhelm all but the stoutest gourmands?

cookie butter cheesecake

Cookie butter. On a cheesecake.

As it turns out – no. Despite all the potential, cookie butter cheesecake falls short of its promise.

“How could that possibly be,” you may be wondering, “Given such a pedigree?”

Well, I’m certainly not saying it isn’t a good cheesecake. It is. It’s very good – sweet, creamy, smooth and delicious. No one will be turning down a slice of this cheesecake after dinner. It won’t be going back into the freezer for another day. This is a fine and tasty cheesecake that people will eat up despite themselves.

That said, I was disappointed by my first bite. I expect cookie butter to be exceptional, and this cheesecake isn’t particularly exceptional in any way. It’s entirely tasty, but it’s not going to blow your mind or anything. Again, that’s not really an insult. The cake is well thought through. Trader Joe’s obviously considered making a much more decadent cheesecake and pulled back. What you get is not as overwhelmingly sweet as you might imagine. Both the cheesecake filling and the cookie butter topping seems less intense than they usually are. Here, this works to their advantage. The one seems to mellow out the intense, rich taste of the other, making it much easier to enjoy a whole slice of this cheesecake than it is to enjoy a whole spoonful of cookie butter by itself.

While this works for the cake, and works quite deliciously, it doesn’t elevate the dessert to either the cookie butter or cheesecake hall of fame. The fact of the matter is that I’ve had other cheesecakes, non cookie-butter cheesecakes, that are better than this one. Given the immense calorie value and special occasion status of cheesecake, I’m looking for something stunning to put in my mouth – not merely good.

It’s a noble try, and a delicious one, but the quest for a superior form of cookie butter continues.


The Breakdown

Would I Recommend It: Yes, this is a pretty good cheesecake, and worth a try for cookie butter lovers.

Would I Buy It Again: Probably not. There are better cheesecakes (and cookie butter products) out there.

Final Synopsis: Good – but not as good as it sounds.

Trader Joe's Speculoos Cookie Butter Cheesecake - Nutritional Info and Calories

Trader Joe’s Speculoos Cookie Butter Cheesecake – Nutritional Info and Calories


No post today due to Brain Explosion

head explosion

 

Hi everybody,

Sorry, but my brain melted down today due to crazy overwork. No post today, but we will learn about amazing things on Thursday! Come back soon!

 

 


Trader Joe’s Triple Tiered Chocolates

Trader Joe's Triple Tiered Chocolates

Nice looking box, right?

Like a lake effect blizzard, the holiday season has descended on Trader Joe’s  – only instead of snow, we find ourselves mired in drifts of seasonal holiday offerings. From artisanal mustard sets, to tea samplers to the return of Pink Himalyan Truffle Salt, the shelves are again overflowing with slightly over-priced, niche items in attractive packaging. Frankly, I love it. Trader Joe’s holiday gifts are the second most jolly time of the year for a Trader Joe’s food review blogger – second only, of course, to the annual Pumpkin Madness.

Our impulse buy today is Trader Joe’s Triple Tiered Chocolates. This is one of those ideas that’s so stupid it’s brilliant or, possibly, vice-versa. I’m not sure why I haven’t seen anything like this anywhere else before, because the idea has been sitting in plain sight for decades.  Simply put, TJ has taken slice of white chocolate, a slice of milk chocolate, and a slice of dark chocolate and stacked them all together into one chimeric, hybrid chocolate treat.

There are two things going on here with this new chocolate, and I’ll start with the most important one. This is unmistakably a gift item first, and a chocolate treat second. The difference is sometimes subtle, but basically comes down to the packaging. From the box design, to the font, to the presentation of the chocolates themselves, Trader Joe’s Triple Tiered Chocolates have been designed to look good first and taste good second.

Chocolate is a very safe niche in the holiday gift giving world, and this product fills it expertly. Just look at the box, for instance. Who packages seven chocolates in a box only 3 inches wide and 18 inches long? Someone who’s trying to make an impact with fancy packaging, that’s who. Hand this out to a co-worker / in-law / mail carrier and you’re going to get a little an “Aww” on the box alone . No question – it makes an impact.

Trader Joe's Triple Tiered Chocolates 2

Fancy chocolates in their own little rooms.

But once we actually get the box open, how do the chocolates themselves stand up? Well, for one, they’re chocolate. As we’ve talked about before there’s not really any such thing as “bad” chocolate. Having any chocolate is a preferable existence to having no chocolate, and this is by no means a bad chocolate – although Trader Joe’s makes things tricky by combining the three different types together.

While there are certainly plenty of people who define themselves as “chocolate lovers”, these people generally break along the dark chocolate / milk chocolate line. Combine those two into one chocolate, and then add a layer of the always divisive white chocolate, and you have a confection that’s going to simultaneously delight and disappoint people.

You could bring up the argument here that Trader Joe’s probably didn’t need to bring in white chocolate at all. After all, white chocolate isn’t even technically a chocolate, but a sugar-and-fat-derived chocolate wannabe. Considering that a simple milk chocolate / dark chocolate blend would be sure to sell just as many boxes, if not more boxes, than one that also includes white chocolate, I makes you think that maybe the white chocolate is just there to be visually pleasing.

While I’m sure that’s true to some extent, the white chocolate here actually elevates Trader Joe’s Triple Tiered Chocolates to a strange new level. Never, before taking a bite of this stuff, have I stuck these three very different types of chocolate into my mouth at the same time. The result is something I wasn’t expecting – the flavors melt into one another in a complex interplay. The waxy, sugary taste of the white chocolate, normally cloying, is ameliorated by the flow of the sweet milk chocolate and bitter dark. The result is an intriguing storm of cocoa and sugar, teasing your taste buds this way and that. Certainly enjoyable to savor as it melts upon the tongue.

Unfortunately the chocolates are too big to pop into your mouth all at once. Instead, you have to bite through the three, firm, thick layers – a surprisingly difficult feat. Even after you manage it, the chocolate layers have a tendency to come apart under the pressure, leaving you a potential mess in your fingers.

All in all, I’m satisfied with the purchase. It makes an interesting gift, but also manages to stand on it’s own as an intriguing, if not overwhelming, chocolate confection.


The Breakdown

Would I Recommend It: Sure, this could make a nice Christmas gift.

Would I Buy It Again: Not for myself, maybe for others.

Final Synopsis: A handful of novelty chocolates in fancy packaging.

 


Trader Joe’s Roasted Brussels Sprouts

No vegetable has seen a resurgence in recent years like the Brussels sprout. Sure, the per person consumption of broccoli has increased more than 400% since 1980, but people always kind of ate broccoli. Brussels sprouts, on the other hand, have been shorthand for universally reviled food since before WWII. In fact, as recently as 2008 a survey conducted by Heinz Corp. found Brussels sprouts to be the most-hated vegetable in America. Yet in the last few years a strange new, pro-Brussels sprout zeitgeist has arisen in America. Suddenly they are a tasty treat to be found on your dinner plate, no longer regarded as cheap, unpleasant-tasting leaf wads. No one’s fool, Trader Joe’s has made tracks to capitalize on this resurgence, and has brought to their shelves their new Trader Joe’s Roasted Brussels Spouts just in time for the holiday season.

Personally, I’ve long been enjoying the tasty crunch of raw shredded Brussels sprout in Trader Joe’s excellent Cruciferous Crunch Collection, and while that’s all well and good I’ve been avoiding them in their whole, steamed form for many years, thanks to some truly unpalatable encounters with them in my childhood. Yet when I saw them presented in the produce aisle the other day, looking so demure in their minimalist wrapping, I couldn’t resist the urge to pick them up again and see if we couldn’t reconnect.

Normally, I probably wouldn’t have been willing to do this if it wasn’t for that one magically word in the title, “roasted”. The roasting of Brussels sprouts has been the magic key to their reappearance on dinner tables everywhere – that and the generous addition of crispy bacon, onion, pine nuts, etc. The old-fashioned way of boiling Brussels sprouts goes hand-in-hand with their ill reputation. As a cruciferous vegetable, the sprouts contain heaps of the compound glucosinolate which, while beneficial to the body, will stink like rotten sulfur when boiled too long. By roasting a Brussels sprout you avoid all this unpleasantness while retaining the nutrition and enhancing the taste.

Trader Joe’s Brussels sprouts come pre-roasted and ready to eat – sort of. Although they’ve been pre-cooked you’ll need to re-heat them, either by steaming them in their own package in the microwave, or sauteeing them up on the range. Steaming them is more likely to bring out that unsavory glucosinolate, so get out the frying pan if you really want to have a tasty meal.

So how do Trader Joe’s Roasted Brussels sprouts do? Rather well, actually. This is a classic what- you-see-is-what-you-get food product. Although the sprouts have been nominally roasted in olive oil with salt and pepper you won’t taste any of that in the prepared dish. It’s for good reason that TJ exhorts you to “season to taste” twice on the package. The sprouts themselves are fine examples of their cultivar – firm yet yielding, with a mild, vertiginous taste. They’re basically what you want, but they’re not going to blow anyone away just by themselves.

The easiest way to make these sprout delicious is to dress them up with another splash of olive oil and S&P, but if you’re willing to put a little more elbow grease into it, you could consider this recipe with bacon: , or this one with Parmesan – just make sure that you reduce the cooking times to adjust for the already cooked Brussels sprouts.

Finally, I’d like to break into a long digression here about the fascinating history of the Brussels sprout – as perhaps implied by the strange syntax of its name – but the world fails us here. Brussels sprout are apparently named as such simply because Brussels, Belgium was known for growing a lot of them. That shows a lack of imagination that riles me to no end – but I suppose it’s the hard to spell name we’re stuck with.


 

The Breakdown

Would I Recommend Them: Sure, if you have a good idea for how to cook them.
Would I Buy Them Again: No, but I’d gladly eat them if served.
Final Synopsis: A fine bunch of roasted Brussels sprouts.


Happy Thanksgiving 2014!

Trader Joe's Thanksgiving Greeting

Happy Thanksgiving!

Woo woo woo! It’s Thanksgiving Day here in the United States of America. Today I’m thankful for you, my wonderful readers, who make writing this blog worthwhile.

I sincerely hope each and every one of you is enjoying family, friends, and a feast of a 1,000 Trader Joe’s delights!

See you all on Tuesday!


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 633 other followers